Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Guilty as charged

When is it OK to move on, to feel happy without the guilt?

Our choices do not always make everyone happy and sometimes they hurt the ones we love the most. When this happens are we allowed to feel happy about our choice without guilt for their pain?

I sit staring at the face of hope and feel its love, yet the pain of another tugs at my heart.

I smile at the future and embrace the love that it brings but cannot shake the guilt that I carry with me.

I face happiness, a surrendering to a new creation, a new life. Am I ready to let me?

Can I cut the ropes of guilt that bind me, the ties of the past that threaten to keep me in it?

At the dawn of my future, will I let the past set behind me?

Guilt, I ask you ...how do you serve me now and in your silence I know you never have and you never WILL!!!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Jumbled mind approaching the 12th of the 12th!!

I have come to realize that time has just flown by and I have forgotten to write the many thoughts that occupy my jumbled mind, a practice that does seem to help make some sense of it all.
I find myself saying, I don't know a lot and have come to understand that this is because life is hectic and I am trying to juggle work and a hectic holiday schedule and then a 'crazy' mind. When doing all of this, I find it more challenging to go within and find some quiet time. Many things have manifest very quickly and still manage to take my breath away. I know the choices I have made will serve me well but I am still in emotional turmoil and am having a hard time figuring out who these emotions belong to and what to do with them all.
Is the world sad and in turmoil too?? Am I feeling things internally and globally??

This has been quite a year with many changes and some serious emotional challenges and I am looking forward to the end of the craziness. The new President promises change and the energies the planet is facing, promises change and my life is promising change, and part of me is not so sure it likes all this change but what the heck, I did manifest it didn't I?

A jumbled mind not knowing what it wants and what to think is not a good thing amidst all these shifts and changes. I am preparing myself for the 12th of the 12th and have decided to slow down for a few days and contemplate the next few months and what is it I wish to manifest.....one thing for sure....more clarity and control over my 'crazy' mind. I choose to experience a balance so that I can go within and slow all the turmoil down and figure out what is mine and what I must let go. I recommend taking the time in the next few days to look at your reality and figure out what it is you truly desire and use this powerful gateway of the 12th of the 12th, combined with the full moon energy and CREATE, CREATE!!!!!

A word of warning......this is a powerful time in our lives and we need to become clear about our intent and how we wish to move forward. You are a limitless being that can create many wonderful things and above all you have free choice, so choose wisely!!

Happy creating and HAPPY HOLIDAYS from one jumbled mind to another!!!

Sunday, November 16, 2008

A long stemmed red rose!

There is something so breathtaking and eyecatching about it.

The long slender stem with the occassional thorn to protect itself....like a beautiful tall beauty with a little edge.

The tip of it adorned with a unique deep red fragrant flower. A flower that becomes more radiant as it grows and ages....and if it's aesthetic appeal is not enough, it touches the heart, our emotional yardstick and the touch floods our body, ending in a radiant smile.

The rose has passed it's radiance unto the reciever.

There IS something magical about a long stemmed red rose!!!

Friday, November 14, 2008

Letter to the past..........

Thank you for bringing me to this moment.

Thank you for your support and guidance along the way. I learned so many things and experienced something new. You helped open my heart, you brought sadness and offered a safe place to express it and joy in abundance.

This journey helped shape me and gave me the greatest gift of all, MYSELF!!!

I accept this gift and will do it justice by honoring it first, by doing what nurtures it and I will listen to it's gentle guidance.

I step bravely into this moment and choose the path that resonates with all that I have come to know of myself.
My choices are about empowering me, trusting myself and honoring the women I have become.

The past may have shaped me but it is what I do and feel in this moment that defines and allows me to continue to grow.

Thank you for bringing me to this moment!!!!

Saturday, November 8, 2008

What is - in love??

I think it is when you are immersed in love, surrounded by it....flowing everywhere in and out of you.

You love from the INside out and thus according to the law of the Universe/ the law of attraction, you attract what you are....LOVE.

Fall IN love with yourself.

Friday, November 7, 2008

What is love....

That ever elusive question, what is love may just be answered.

It's when you see yourself clearly reflected in another and you know you deserve it and you open/keep your heart open and allow it in.

This however can only happen when you choose to love yourself unconditionally first; when your reflection in the mirror makes you smile from the inside.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Presidential thoughts

WOW, what a ride this campaign has been.

I am so glad that the slandering advertising between Coleman and Franken is finally over. Why would they think that we the public find that informative or even appealing. I do not know these men but after enduring their ads, I do not care to either. I think that there should be no place for people who have to put another down to win, in a governing sector.
How can you trust anyone to govern when they cannot govern them selves and slinging mud does not seem like the right way to govern yourself....just my opinion!!

I'm not sure if our new president is all that he seems to be but my heart really hopes so. During campaign trails they tend to do a good marketing pitch and Obama certainly did. I have not lived here all my life and can be fooled by the right words at the right time and I do embrace change. I do think it cannot be worse that it has been up till now.
It is a fact that a leader is only a good as the people that assist him. I trust he has some good assistance. It is however time for the greater public to speak up because the power is in the people and we are the ones that appoint the government (or so we are led to believe...a whole nother story there!)
When we all band together and stand up for what we believe in then the government will listen.
(or has this country really got me snowed?)

I am happy that Obama won and look forward to seeing him put his money where his mouth is.
I think that we need to send positive energy to this change as it may be a rocky road. Remember that energy flows where attention goes and we must put our attention on healing and change and moving forward.

Good luck to Obama and good thoughts from all of us!!!

Self healing....

It has become very important during this time to focus on the healing of self. Clearing old wounds, removing blockages and loving oneself unconditionally.
It still seems to be difficult for most to look in the mirror and say I love you to the self....from a place of truth deep inside.

With the energies on the planet changing and raising so rapidly, it is critical to let go of old imprints and belief systems that keep you stuck.
11:11 is said to be the perfect time to release old patterns and work at the self. This is a powerful time to turn the tide. this time of turmoil and constant change is here to propel us forward and help us seek out our bliss and direction. The days between the 11th and 13th are said to be the closing of lower vibrational gateways that feed on our fears. The time of darkness is coming to a close. ( and by darkness I mean the time of hiding and cover ups) ...also refered to as the time of ignorance.

It is important to go within during this time of great change and find the wisdom and strength and gifts waiting there. Focus on the things that nurture and bring you balance. The things and thoughts that feed your soul, that inspire and drive you. When the old belief systems that no longer serve you surfaces, this is a golden time and opportunity to let it go...you will have a lot of support during this time to move forward.

This is a time to open your heart and allow change and goodness to flow through you. Have the courage to love with an open heart and to face yourself honestly and embrace your power.
During this time you will find yourself dropping all that no longer seems appropriate, do not fear it but allow for the release of it.

Step into the perfection of you. It is time to remember that you are perfect, whole and complete.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Message from Kryon

I love this message and it is good to remember as we enter the new moon in scorpio, which is all about the unveiling of the truth...the naked truth about ourselves and everything in our lives.

"Blessed are the Humans who have made it their goal for self-improvement. . . to know more about the vibrational level of where they are in the cosmos. Do not leave here with questions about how to do these things. Just do them. Sit in front of Spirit and ask the question, "God, tell me what it is I need to know." And then expect the answers and move forward with a cosmic intelligence that is there. Call it what you wish. You just have to be able to start, and the rest will be added by God as you climb the steps of your sacred journey."

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Love and loss

The last few weeks have been filled with love and now I must face loss. I have finally connected on a deep level with a great love in my life and the pain that he was carrying took my breath away. I was the cause of this pain, my decision to leave has left a deep wound and I pray that the universe helps with the healing. I wish to leave him without a scar.

Feeling his pain helped push me into action. It is never fair for us to think that we can spare anyone pain with treading lightly. We stay stuck and cause everyone to be stuck if we cannot act or take action. Remember confrontation is never easy but it does clear the air and allow for new energy to come in. It allows all parties to know where they stand and then gives them a choice where they may not have seen one before. Facing things head on lifts the veil.

I am reminded that with closure comes mourning and I am experiencing a lot of that. It seems to come at me in waves and there are times that I could sit in a heap and cry and cry.
Are my tears cleansing or a sign that I may be resisting the change??
I do not know the answer to that but will not resist the urge to be vulnerable and submerge myself in the pain for a little while. I must feel this to be able to move through it and who knows what awaits on the other side.

For those who know the love and loss that I am talking about, we are one.
Please do not close your heart! Have the courage to keep loving with an open heart and know that with great sadness comes great joy. You cannot have one without the other.
I, like you, now await the joy and am choosing to do so with an open heart.

Thank you for sharing your precious time with ME!!

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Keeping this up....

Phew.....Having quite a time keeping up on updating this and still trying to stay sane.

It is hard to write anything inspirational when one feels like your life is going down the crapper but I am happy to report that even that was a fleeting thought...ok maybe not fleeting but it did pass as all things do when one does not continuelly dwell on it and therefore keep sending it energy. The ego perpetuates this behaviour, I am told. I am ready to kick the S*#@t out of mine by now!!

Life is filled with twists and turns and I am dizzy from all the curves. I wish they were in all the right places on my body instead of everywhere I look in my life.
Choices are overated some might say and I get it as I have certainly had my fair share. I am trying not to sound like a spoilt brat and have no doubt that some are even muttering it under their breath as they read this, but not all choices are what they appear to be at first glance and even then one may need to take a long hard second look and choose between the lesser of two evils.

My choices have been hard and painful for more than just me. There are times when we all wish we could take the pain away for those we love but I am reminded that we all need to follow our own path and how we feel is still a matter of choice (yip, there is that word again)
For those that are hurting right now.....I feel your pain and I second that!

So here are words of inspiration.....this too shall pass (and you thought it would be better than that I bet)

I go to sleep knowing that all I have to do is honor myself and do what is right for me and if it is not in the long run then I have certainly gained a lesson and will still have the right to choose something different. Choices are a wonderful thing (ughh, I did just say that) but it is true even if I do not always see it from that perspective.
So if you are faced with choices today....choose wisely but do not beat yourself up because another one will be on it's way real soon!!!!

Friday, September 19, 2008

life in the fast lane...

Today was quiet and many thoughts ran through my mind from the time that I was in the shower until now.

I wondered how I had gotten to make the choices I have made, as the water rushed over me. When exactly did I leave my current relationship. Thoughts of control and how he asserted it came to mind. It was then that I left, not physically but mentally and somewhat emotionally too. I did not feel secure and protected and wondered why the hell I was staying in such a tight spot.

I fought it for three years until I decided to open my heart to me.

Money is often used to control us and keep us locked in. It is not the money that is evil and corrupt but the ones that hold it firmly in their hands. Many relationships fall apart because of finances and loss of trust and love and the list goes on.

What was the downfall of this particular one you may wonder.....it was all of the above!

Relationship are there to teach us about ourselves and to help us grow. This was no exception. In this relationship I learned about love and wonderful childhoods and how the other side lives. I learned about a whole new culture and I laughed a lot. It was safe to grow and open myself up. I learned to look at myself through his eyes and finally liked what I saw and started cultivating that. Relationships are not perfect but can be perfect for you and can also be perfect for a specific purpose and reason. One needs to know when relationships have served their purpose and needs to change or move on. This is where we all get stuck and paralyzed at times. Do not allow fear of change and some discomfort keep you locked into a situation that does not serve either of you.

I moved into a beautiful little cottage on a lake with no running water and an outhouse. A trip to say the least but in those moments where I feel down and sorry for myself, I look out the window and see the most gorgeous view and nature in all her splendour and I feel lighter and blessed. I wake up to the sound of loons on the lake and all those little things seems to slip away until I summon them back. I moved out of a situation I could no longer navigate, to find my center again.
It has been an interesting journey and I am still a little of center but a lot closer than before and I have found love within myself to sustain me which also helps me look at the world with softer eyes. Change has been a constant for me and I am learning how to accept it at a moments notice.

May change in this fast lane be kind to you and may you go with the flow...

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Chaos and more chaos

Wow, it has been awhile since my last serious blog, even though many serious things have occured in my world.

Was August chaotic or what??
I have heard that I am not alone in saying that the energies are shifting rapidly and making it a little uncomfortable and then to top it all, shit is hitting from all sides. I guess it is time to deal with underlying issues or watch them show up in all forms time and again.
I am ready to be done with old stuff and am happy to say that September has come and brought with it a lull in events.

Yeah, time to be still and gather energy and organize a little after the August tornado. The new energies in October may once again be coming at a mile a minute so all I can do is enjoy this quiet time and prepare for the next rush.

My life has changed in numerous ways and I have no doubt it will continue to do so.
I am facing many new opportunities to discover who I am and what I really want. It is challenging to answer that sometimes....what do I really want??? I am free to decide and can choose from anything....like a kid in a candy store....exept I have toothache and can't eat any of the candy anyway!! Jokes on me!

Seriously, life is great and it does just need us to decide which way to go and what direction to take. I wish I had a GPS for life and could just choose the shortest and easiest route to my highest good and know exactly which direction to start off in.
BOY, I am jumping around all over the place again but this does seem to explain how scattered I can be. I am working on simplifying and getting a better sense of direction. A good idea if I am expecting the Universe to provide and guide!

The next time I write I may even know where I am going and with any luck I may have a good idea on how to get there.

Right now I am recovering from the chaos and resting a little to build up a whole bunch of energy for the next wave of life......

Monday, August 25, 2008

Free as a bird

One day along my travels it came to me, there was a land I wanted to see.
I flew in and landed on a counter....he sighed and said, you are the most exotic and strangest bird I've ever encountered. I replied with eyes of knowing and a depth he could not see.

A freedom he tried to posess.
Please do not cut my wings I pleaded but awoke one day with feathers on the floor.
I cried and knew I could not stay no more.

Waiting for the strength to return to the wings with which I was born, I took flight and welcomed freedom again.

The wind and sky, my paradise. A lesson learned and taught. Wings are meant to spread and soar.

Never try to change the nature of an exotic bird!!!

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Message are everywhere!!

There are times in my life where I feel so aware and when message seem to jump at me from everywhere, or is it just that I have finally chosen to receive messages in a way that even I cannot miss.

It is true that once you make a choice or decision in a certain direction there are many messages to guide you. It is important to stay open and vulnerable. Do not delve into deep emotions and keep your eye on the goal. Messages come from the strangest of places sometimes but it does not make them any less important.

I have been told to stay strong and take one day at a time. It is really all I can handle right now anyway....one day at a time!

Pay attention to that sign you may never have seen before or the headline that popped out at you or an arbitrary comment made by a stranger that caught your attention.
Listen and then listen some more.

Prayers are always answered and messages are everywhere!

Monday, August 4, 2008

depression or mourning

I awoke this morning with a heavy heart and was not sure if I was depressed or mourning for a relationship that has changed. For a life of twist and turns that seems to threaten to overwhelm me at times?

Is it just the gloom of an overcast day that has stolen the sunshine from my heart and demeanor? Or is it part of a healing phase?
There are many positives in my current situation but in the depths of this mood, I am finding it hard to see.

I am writing this an an attempt to pick myself up and dust away the heavy fragments of this moment. Change as I may have mentioned before is not always comfortable and I am certainly witnessing it first hand today.

I have no miracle cure for this but am going to console myself in the fact that the sun will shine tomorrow and I will feel more balanced and centered soon. The only thing to do is be still or stay as busy as I can and hope I outrun this too. I choose to run when I need to or until I get tired....it is one of the first things I generally do. When I am done being reactive I may be still to notice the message of this part of my journey.

May your day be filled with sunshine even if mine isn't!!!

Life on the lake

The sunsets are always more spectacular when you add water.
The glow in the sky a color you cannot describe but it warms your heart and you feel honored to be it's witness!
Nature has her way of humbling the toughest heart and filling it with wonder and appreciation.

I am her slave for I have seen her display of magic and her dance of color.

I like the reflections of it all in my life along the lake.

May we all have a colorful and reflective journey!!

Monday, July 28, 2008


No matter whether you are a Buddhist or not, a spiritual practitioner or not, appreciation is very important. Appreciation is a great thing; you really need to have it. This is what I think from the heart. Appreciate, appreciate, appreciate. There is no real reason why you should not be happy, unless maybe there's too much complaining and not enough appreciation. ~
His Holiness the Twelfth Gyalwang Drukpa

Need I say more?

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Lifetimes in a life time

Isn't it interesting that as we go through our lives, we live many different lifetimes. An interesting thing happens when you come from a balanced state.

Every emotional phase I heal helps me grow. I have noticed that the closer I get to me the easier it becomes to manifest whatever I wish for in my life. This year as I approached another birthday and even now as I remember celebrating it, I must admit, fascination for the journey that brought me to this moment overwhelms me.

I remember my twenties but now it does feel like a lifetime away. I remember the me I was then and even she seems like a different person...I still have some of her qualities but I am so much more now. I have changed and grown and evolved and my life has been a series of gifts and lessons. It has offered me many opportunities to change and thankfully I have.

I feel the fear until I have built up enough courage or maybe it is that I am more afraid of what would be the outcome if I allowed fear to keep me captivated and locked in time.

As I review the decades of my life, I realize that I have lived many wonderful and some not so wonderful lifetimes already. Now as I am again embarking on another lifetime, I am grateful that I have once again defeated fear and accepted the magical unknown. I am on the brink of something wonderful and I am ready. My journey has brought me to love who I am and what I have to offer and appreciate all the wonderful moments and people that have helped me on my path.

It has taken many years to see and admit that even the not so wonderful years had their own special purpose. Their gifts now in fruition.

What a glorious time to be alive and how scary it can sometimes seem. There is this war against our darker and lighter sides and the earth is echoeing it. We must return to love and it all ends and starts in us.

This lifetime is about balance, living from the heart and honoring my boundaries and myself.

Which lifetime are you in and what choice do you choose to make to honor your growth?

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Where to?

Life with it's many twist and turn can be challenging and one does tend to wonder where we will end up?
Forrest Gump said "life is a box of chocolates" .....sweet, I can handle chocolates, maybe the hips can't but I certainly am willing to bite into that! The last few weeks have been a whirlwind of bittersweet chocs and my taste buds are yearning for something more subtle.

Opening my heart has been a wonderful experience of how much change one can handle. If you are going to break the dam wall be ready for the flood, and a flood it has been. A flood of emotions long waiting to be set free and a host of wonderful opportunities to flow with life.

Perception is a strange thing and sometimes we need to shift it in order to get a clear picture of where we are and what to do next and I am happy to say that sometimes we need do NOTHING.......NO thing? These are but a few of the lessons I have encountered since opening my heart to me.

I know this post seems garbled yet again but I make no excuses for the mind just spitting out what it wants and this is my space to just try and make sense of it all. It also gives you a clear picture that sometimes I do not know either! I am figuring it out one day and one step at a time.

Where to now?? I am doing my best to stay open and receptive to all the good in the Universe and trusting that when it does seem bittersweet that I just need to shift my perception!!
The most important thing is for me to keep my heart open and top it up with the love that seems to come from everywhere and everyone.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Follow me

"do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail"

Ralph Waldo Emerson

These words are inspirational but still I hesitate to move forward. I am trying not to be paralyzed by the uncertainty and the unknown. My excuse is that I do not wish to cause any pain to those I love but really is that a cop out? Am I not hurting myself by staying stagnant and am I not the one that I love too?

Follow me into the depth of the void and watch as we emerge forever changed, following our hearts and dreams.

Saturday, July 5, 2008


Independence day celebrations everywhere. It got me to thinking (still free) about the original intent behind it all....
Independence is the self-government of a nation, country, or state by its residents and population, or some portion thereof, generally exercising sovereignty. and is often an emancipation from some dominating power.

The self government by it's population.....what a joke!!
In this day and age our independence is slowly being eradicated and many are to oblivious to notice that little by little they are loosing their freedom of choice.
Everyday there are more laws being passed that affect that freedom of choice and it happens so quickly that unless you are paying careful attention, it is done before you can protect yourself.

AND these laws are being passed under the guise of protecting the public at large but really it is about money and greed....all you need to do is really take a closer look!

Pay attention people the country that you thought was democratic and free is laughing at you!

How can compulsory vaccines (proven to be the leading cause of Autism and impaired Immunity) help the greater public??? Should it not be my choice as to how I care for my health and should I not be allowed to decide who I consult for my personal well being?
Watch out for licensure as this is another illusion under the guise of public safety.
What a load of crap....the egos in the room are suffocating!!
The FDA....another joke on us. This organization is supposed to be there to protect the public but look at how many drugs are out there known to have devastating side effects but until someone dies....sorry...till many die...the FDA will line their pockets and those that they truly protect, first.

Independence....we gained it from the world at large, emancipated from one dominating power to another who seems more corrupt and filled with deceit. But at least for this weekend we can be save under the illusion of it all.

How's that for a little venting!!!

Thursday, July 3, 2008


My yogi tea message for the day...

"the beauty of life is to experience yourself"

I am learning to do so on many levels and it is always interesting when we stop and pay attention to our reactions and actions and then take the time to see what the belief system behind it is.
I have found that it is the easiest place to start when choosing to make changes. (my belief systems and where they stem from) I ask myself if this belief still serves me and if it is truly mine or just something I bought into...do I wish to continue it or have my views shifted?

Easiest does not always mean comfortable because some changes are not always comfortable. I am navigating the discomfort and staying mostly on course. There are days where I cannot even find the compass!!!

BUT....for today I choose to just experience myself and see the beauty in me!!

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Words of wisdom

The important point of spiritual practice is not to try to escape your
life, but to face it -- exactly and completely.
~ Dainin Katagiri Roshi

Even if it is difficult to do it is important to face our obstacles as to not allow them to turn into mountains that then seem insurmountable.

Right now I am facing my own obstacles and realize that sometimes we need to do the thing we think we cannot do and in doing so we grow a little more every day. If you can remember back to your teenage years you will remeber suffering from growing pains. I do and this growth may come with it's own growing pains but it then reminds me of something I read.... External obstacles are internal resistance to change. Which then means that if it hurts to much what is the internal resistance??
I am being my own devils advocate and now I must leave because the only way I can find out if there is resistance internal or otherwise is to go and find my peace and my center and go within.

Till Later....

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Summer solstice 2008

Once again we find ourselves at this powerful gateway. Another opportunity to create the reality we wish to experience and a wonderful statement from a movie...PS I love you, pops into my memory. "My business is to create, it doesn't even matter what you do...create something new and there it is and it's you out in the world, outside of you and you can look at it or hear it or read it or feel it and you know a little more about you....a little bit more than anybody else does."

I love it , it sums up creation for yourself. I stand at this doorway again this year with the sun streaming through the window filled with excitement. I have been fortunate that the Universe provided me with some time to ponder upon my life and where I would like it to go. I am ready to take the next step and at the eve of this solstice I will know exactly what I am putting out there to manifest in my life.

I urge you to take the time now to think about where you wish to go and who you wish to remain through it all. Look at the qualities you admire within and without you and cultivate that now.
Meditate or slow down long enough to get in touch with yourself, to hear that still inner voice and pay attention to it's guidance. The Universe knows only love and it is up to you to allow it to flow through you at all times. Open your heart at this gateway and experience the abundance that is rightfully yours. Seize this moment to find your bliss, dare to dream big, kick fear out the door and watch as it all unfolds for you.

Have a wonderful solstice and remember the cliche...Be all that you can be!!!!

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Comments are appreciated...

Hi there,

This is a message to ER......
I am not sure how to reply to your comments made but want you to know that I really appreciate them and thank you for the info on Mandela and the Inauguration speech. It did come as a bit of a surprise but reminded me that I did not hear those words from him at the time and was confused when I saw it later....so thanks for refreshing my memory.

I love comments on my blog and invite eeveryone to add if they so choose.
ER...your comments did inspire me to keep writting and for that I am very grateful. It came at a time when I needed to hear it. THANKS!!

Leading me to this....pay attention to all that impacts your life as it is gently guiding you to where you wish to go. The universe does not wish for us to struggle and experience pain but if it's gentle nudges do not get our attention then it will push harder and harder until it does and we respond.

Make this a great week of manifesting....Summer solstice is a good time to manifest your desires for the summer and the rest of your year!!!

Gratitude to me and thee

I recieved this update about gratitude and am grateful for the reminder. Graditude is the fuel for bringing more abundance into our lives. It puts us in a space of higher vibration and the feeling of gratitude brings more to be grateful for. Practice theses daily. I know I will!!

9 Agreements for Co-Creating through the Higher Laws of Love and Gratitude:

1. I agree that a world of Love and Gratitude begins with me. I choose to be a conscious mirror and model of the change I wish to see in the world.

2. I agree to consciously set an intention for manifesting something miraculous in my life -- everyday and in every way.

3. I agree to tap into Gratitude on a daily basis and as much as possible in every waking moment. I know that the rewards of doing so flow through and extend beyond me, strengthening the collective field of Gratitude from which we may all derive benefit.

4. I agree to be a consistently uplifting inspiration in all my interactions. I commit to see and mirror back the greatness of each soul who crosses my path. I choose to discover and nurture the light within so that it may shine forth to others and magnify their life.

5. I agree to honor each individual's right to choose their own belief system and life path.

6. I agree to be open to both give and receive within my local and global community. In all my dealings, I seek win-win, mutually edifying interactions and transactions.

7. I agree to be my word in my exchanges with others. I realize that my personal influence is magnified to the degree I am able to keep my word with myself and others. If something comes up and I decide to change what I had agreed upon, then I agree to make that communication as soon as possible to the affected party.

8. I agree to love and enjoy my life as much as possible!

9. And, last but certainly not least, I agree to be Grateful for ME!

Monday, June 16, 2008

Women can't you see....

Unreal ideals reel in the minds of men
Creating Gods and original sins
And now as in days of old
Trying to deny the truth of the women
And their stories told
Taking away the Earth and the snake
Taking away your truth, making themselves great

Men will say and believe things
Without touching
Tearing things apart
Without feeling the heart

Religions and grand designs
Explanations laced with lies
Male laws, Male Gods
Male Saviors, Male Odds
You will see these men amongst you
Placing themselves above you
With their deeds and words
And insidious things unseen and unheard
Do they really listen or just make you think they've heard

I understand there must be balance
But we must go way back to the feminine essence
To say it's all the same, is just another game
Played in the laps of Gods and Men, one-in-the-same

This is not male bashing, but there are some that I am tracking
And as both male and female myself I can SEE something else
I am raising the bar so I can see where they are
Slipping and Sliding
They are in your midst
When you speak, listen how they answer this

Long live The Goddess
Long live The Priestess
Long live the way it was before all of this
Forget about the lies of recorded History
Rise and tell the truth of Herstory

And be careful of the ones who think that they are better than you
Textured male condescension twisting all that is true
Rise said Maya Angelou
Rise because she was talking to you

The wisdom of the Earth
The truth of our birth
Help us to see the beauty
Of this feminine Universe

And mostly thank you for choosing me to lead you back to thee......humbly...HZ

This was a poem written by Hanakia Zedek.....He was a very powerful force in my life and has reminded me of many things that have helped me on my journey back to me. I thank him and I honor his journey.

To me this poem says that women need to rise up and step into their power and be all they can be!!!
Let your power no longer be diminished by the roles you feel you must play. Vulnerability is your greatest strength. Your intuition your guiding light.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008


I remember the moment.
The tightness in my chest released and flooding my body.

The wave of it leaving me feeling everything
Exquisitely, acute.
The sound, the look, the touch, the words, my voice.

I remember the moment
my body alive, awake again.

I remember the moment
and the memory sustains me!


Sometimes these memories are all it takes.....(remembering the sensation, the feeling of love and happiness, of being acutely aware of everything around you and within you)....to create what you wish for in life.

Attraction ... all you have to do is remember the feeling and allow it to stay with you while you visualize what it is you wish for.
Start creating the world you wish to experience one thought and feeling at a time.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

MSG a slow poison

An article I was sent...one of many...I decided to copy and forward to all!!!

MSG The food additive MSG (Mono-Sodium Glutamate) is a slow poison. MSG hides behind 25 or more names, such as Natural Flavoring.' MSG is even in your favorite coffee from Tim Horton's and Starbucks coffee shops! I wondered if there could be an actual chemical causing the massive obesity epidemic, and so did a friend of mine, John Erb. He was a research assistant at the University of Waterloo in Ontario , Canada , and spent years working for the government. He made an amazing discovery whilegoing through scientific journals for a book he was writing called The SlowPoisoning of America. In hundreds of studies around the world, scientists were creating obese mice and rats to use in diet or diabetes test studies. No strain of rat or mice is naturally obese, so scientists have to createthem. They make these creatures morbidly obese by injecting them withMSG when they are first born. The MSG triples the amount of insulin the pancreas creates, causing rats(and perhaps humans) to become obese. They even have a name for thefat rodents they create: 'MSG-Treated Rats.' When I heard this, I was shocked. I went into my kitchen and checked the cupboards and the refrigerator. MSG was in everything -- the Campbell 'ssoups, the Hostess Doritos, the Lays flavored potato chips, Top Ramen,Betty Crocker Hamburger Helper, Heinz canned gravy, Swanson frozenprepared meals, and Kraft salad dressings, especially the 'healthy low-fat' ones. The items that didn't have MSG marked on the product label had something called 'Hydrolyzed Vegetable Protein,' which is just another name for Monosodium Glutamate. It was shocking to see just how many of the foods we feed our children everyday are filled with this stuff. MSG is hidden under manydifferent names in order to fool those who read the ingredient list, so thatthey don't catch on. (Other names for MSG are 'Accent, 'Aginomoto,''Natural Meat Tenderizer,' etc.) But it didn't stop there. When our family went out to eat, we started asking at the restaurants what menu items contained MSG. Many employees, even the managers, swore they didn't use MSG. But when we ask for the ingredient list, which they grudgingly provided, sure enough, MSG and Hydrolyzed Vegetable Protein were everywhere. Burger King, McDonald's, Wendy's, Taco Bell, every restaurant -- even the sit-down eateries like TGIF, Chili's, Applebee's, and Denny's -- use MSGin abundance. Kentucky Fried Chicken seemed to be the WORST offender: MSG was in every chicken dish, salad dressing. and gravy. No wonder I lovedto eat that coating on the skin -- their secret spice was MSG! So why is MSG in so many of the foods we eat? Is it a preservative, or a vitamin? Not according to my friend John Erb. In his book The Slow Poisoning of America, he said that MSG is added to food for the addictive effect it has on the human body. Even the propaganda website sponsored by the food manufacturers lobby group supporting MSG explains that the reason they add it to food is to make people eat more. A study of the elderly showed that older people eat more of the foods that it is added to. The Glutamate Association lobbying group says eatingmore is a benefit to the elderly, but what does it do to the rest of us? 'Betcha can't eat [just] one,' takes on a whole new meaning where MSG is concerned! And we wonder why the nation is overweight! MSG manufacturers themselves admit that it addicts people to their products. It makes people choose their product over others, and makespeople eat more of it than they would if MSG wasn't added. Not only is MSG scientifically proven to cause obesity, it is an addictivesubstance. Since its introduction into the American food supply fifty years ago,MSG has been added in larger and larger doses to the pre-packaged meals,soups, snacks, and fast foods we are tempted to eat everyday. The FDA has set no limits on how much of it can be added to food. They claim it's safe to eat in any amount. But how can they claim it's safewhen there are hundreds of scientific studies with titles like these: 'The monosodium glutamate (MSG) obese rat as a model for the study of exercise in obesity.' Gobatto CA, Mello MA, Souza CT, Ribeiro IA. Res Commun Mol Pathol Pharmacol. 2002. 'Adrenalectomy abolishes the food-induced hypothalamic serotonin release in both normal and monosodium glutamate-obese rats.' Guimaraes RB, Telles MM, Coelho VB, Mori C, Nascimento CM, Ribeiro. Brain Res Bull. 2002 Aug. 'Obesity induced by neonatal monosodium glutamate treatment in spontaneously hypertensive rats: An animal model of multiple risk factors.' Iwase M, Yamamoto M, Iino K, Ichikawa K, Shinohara N, Yoshinari Fujishima. Hypertens Res. 1998 Mar. 'Hypothalamic lesion induced by injection of monosodium glutamate in suckling period and subsequent development of obesity.' Tanaka K,Shimada M, Nakao K Kusunoki. Exp Neurol. 1978 Oct. No, the date of that last study was not a typo; it was published in 1978. Both the 'medical research community' and 'food manufacturers' have known about the side effects of MSG for decades. Many more of the studies mentioned in John Erb's book link MSG to diabetes, migraines and headaches, autism, ADHD, and even Alzheimer's. So what can we do to stop the food manufactures from dumping this fattening and addictive MSG into our food supply and causing the obesity epidemic we now see? Several months ago, John Erb took his book and his concerns to one of the highest government health officials in Canada . While he was sitting in the government office, the official told him, 'Sure, I know how bad MSG is. I wouldn't touch the stuff.' But this top-level government official refuses to tell the public what he knows. The big media doesn't want to tell the public either, fearing issues with their advertisers. It seems that the fallout on the fast food industrymay hurt their profit margin. The food producers and restaurants havebeen addicting us to their products for years, and now we are payingthe price for it. Our children should not be cursed with obesity causedby an addictive food additive. But what can I do about it? I'm just one voice! What can I do to stop the poisoning of our children, while our governments are insuring financial protection for the industry that is poisoning us? This message is going out to everyone I know in an attempt to tell you the truth that the corporate-owned politicians and media won't tell you. The best way you can help to save yourself and your children from this drug-induced epidemic is to forward this article to everyone. With any luck, it will circle the globe before politicians can pass the legislationprotecting those who are poisoning us. The food industry learned a lot from the tobacco industry. Imagine if big tobacco had a bill like this in place before someone blew the whistle on nicotine? If you are one of the few who can still believe that MSG is good for us and you don't believe what John Erb has to say, see for yourself. Go to the National Library of Medicine at www.pubmed.com. Type in thewords 'MSG Obese' and read a few of the 115 medical studies that appear. We the public do not want to be rats in one giant experiment, and we do not approve of food that makes us into a nation of obese, lethargic,addicted sheep, feeding the food industry's bottom line while waiting forthe heart transplant, the diabetic-induced amputation, blindness, or otherobesity-induced, life-threatening disorders. With your help we can put an end to this poison. Do your part in sending this message out by word of mouth, e-mail, or by distribution of this printout to your friends all over the world and stop this 'Slow Poisoning of Mankind' by the packaged food industry. Blowing the whistle on MSG is our responsibility, so get the word out.

Monday, June 9, 2008


"You must do the thing you think you cannot do"

- Eleanor Roosevelt

This a an inspirational quote for me in this time of change. More words to live by this month!!

Friday, June 6, 2008


I have come to understand the value of solitude.

I have come to look forward to listening to my own inner voice and know that only silence will allow me to hear it clearly.

To find the stillness in a busy life can be challenging and I have come to realize, must be made a priority. It is easy to slip into and old pattern or look into the future and get caught in fear. For me the one thing that works is to remain present, to stay in the moment. Here I am safe, here I know exactly what I am doing.

As this week draws to a close I embrace the weekend for the opportunity it brings me to once again find my solitude, to be still, centered and make clear choices from it. I wait for the perfect time to reveal myself and watch the ripple effect!

Not everyone will agree with the choices I make from this space within. I will stay strong and honor myself for I am the one that I live with all the moments of my life.

In solitude I am least alone. In silence I find my voice.

The time is now...

Now is the time to look deep inside and to find forgiveness for self. To let go of all those judgements and to move in and on.
Now is the time to take responsibility for where you are in life for your own health and well being.
It is a lot harder for some to accept that they co-created the mess they may be in and that being healthy is not just physical but mental and emotional too.
Start looking at life from the inside out and not the outside in. This is how creation and manifestation works....from the inside out!

Mahatma Gandhi said "be the change you wish to see in the world" Now is the time!
It is impossible to have something on the outside if you do not have it on the inside first. If you seek peace find it within you first and the universal law works in your favor by resonating with it and bringing more to you. More power, energy, thoughts and feelings to full fill your wish.

Perfect health starts in the mind and in your emotional field. You are truly as healthy as you think and feel you are. Stop giving your power away. Start a new life, start feeling, really feeling and when necessary choose something different.
Only when we get in touch with those feelings deep inside do we get the opportunity to change them or change our perception of them. Change is not hard but it can be uncomfortable. It is like changing your cars' tire for the first time...not always a clean, easy job but once it is done, the car handles better and you feel great having accomplished that. (speaking from a womens point of view of course) A win win situation all round. And it started with the willingness to do so.

One step at a time. Take charge of your feelings, they are yours after all and you do have free choice about that. If you feel beaten down and without hope that is the eyes with which you will see everything.
I know from personal experience if I choose to look at life through the love in my heart I see love and beauty all around me.
Now is the time to look through your love and respect for self at the world around you.

I challenge you to love yourself unconditionally. To finally take responsibility...now is the time!

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

As people come and go

Sometimes people come into our space with a little gift, a word or an opportunity and when we are aware we get it...we see it. We allow it to move within and through us and we allow them to move on.

It could be as simple as the words I am so in love with you. THE impact that has on your heart hits you like a wave. It is almost asif it was the key that unlocked the door and allowed you to experience the wonder of your heart so full, open and receptive.

With the gift of their words and the energy that accompanied it you felt it intensely and the brief glimpse of that experience opened the door to bring you more and more awareness and more and more opportunities to experience that fully.

Today I am thankful for those people, those moments that impacted my energy and life powerfully enough to shift it, assisting me in raising my vibrations.

I am also thankful for my ability to accept the change.

So to all of you who have impacted my life and my world and helped me raise my vibrations...I thank you...I love you and I am so grateful for the gift of you!

childish 'woffle'

You may have asked me once...what do you want from me?

I am facinated by you, in awe of the whole experience,
like a child my attention is totally focus on it all.
A new toy that holds such promise and hours of entertainment,
wondering how I will live without it, undevided, unconditional captivation...
and then a butterfly catches my eye.

And just like that my focus shifts and you are left with the memory of being adored.

There is nothing like being in the midst of such childlike splendour, knowing and feeling you are at the center of it all.
Enjoy the moment, stay present and bask in it's gift of purity.
Heaven existed just for you. The sun smiled only on you.
And even though it may have been brief, it was like nothing you have experienced before.

Be at peace, you are and always will be adored, along with the butteflies and pebbles and more!

What can I say.....I like just spitting it out and letting it land where it may...!!!!

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Tonight I sleep

Tonight I sleep so soundly even if the hours are few,
For my heart is so full.

It is amazing to know it's as simple as this,
the present is all it is.

A look at the world through new eyes and in it's beauty is seems so strange to be,
a dream awake inside of me.

Tonight I sleep for I will to be awake for eternity!


Friday, May 30, 2008

I love looking at me through your eyes

.....as they gaze so softly upon me,
I see the laughter and wonder.

I love the way they touch my soul and show me the beauty inside.
How wonderful the gift of their reflection.

It seems so real, I will believe that it is pure love I see.

Could it be that I have finally opened my heart to me?

- Heidi S

If I weren't afraid cont....

So....After my brave statement of "watch out world"...world gave me a reality check and said: honey you're not done yet!

On a car drive to an appointment this morning, my neck felt stiff and I chose to let go of what was creating that whilst listening to some pleasant music on the radio...the tears started to flow and I discovered that my choice of opening my heart was continuing it's integration and merely making a choice (really making a choice from deep inside) was enough!

And when the choice needs a little assistance I am not opposed to using the tools the universe provides like sound therapy and focused energy. Another welcome release insued bringing with it a flood gate of realizations. One at a time.

If I weren't afraid I would focus my business on energy and emotional balancing.

And here we go again another opportunity to put my money where my mouth is and face the fear and act asif.

I love the simplicity of doing internal emotional cleansing - reprogramming and watching the miracles happen. If I were not witnessing them in my own life I would probably be sceptical but my life has made a believer out of me.........IT IS TRUE..........energy flows where attention goes!!

I am so ready to live the life I was born to live.

Are you?

Thursday, May 29, 2008

If you weren't afraid what would you do?

I was lead through an exercise tonight at my monthly Loadstone networking meeting (check out the website for Loadstone to introduce yourself to a strong group of talented, gifted healthcare providers)

Anyway, we were asked "what would you do if you weren't afraid?"

As you can imagine all the obvious surface answers showed up first....I would sing out loud and dance in the rain and jump out of a perfectly good plane!

But when you dig a little deeper the fears that are blocking you from living the life you desire show their face.

I was amazed at the things that showed up for me. I realised that I would really open my heart and love without abandon. I would share that love with all and finally love myself the way I deserve. Oh no another biggy (the deserving factor)

I knew I hit the nail on the head when these words made me choke up. Isn't it funny that expressing the deep truth has a tendency to do that...to make us all emotional and we find it hard to spit the words out. There is nothing like a bit of honesty with self to open a whole new world.

Many realized that they would choose different relationships and do a lot of things differently and I have made a note to myself not to wait - to start doing it all now!!!

Why let fear (an illusion) stop me from being all that I can be.

So here I go...watch out world I'm gonna love you next!!!

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Don't play small

There are many authors we love and their words guide us at times. I love many of them but this one passage always stands out for me and as a South African citizen it has special meaning to me.

I use it as one of my rules to live by:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, "who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?" Actually who are you not to be?

You are a child of God. Your Playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to manifest the glory that is within us. And as we let our light shine we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

- Marianne Williamson

(Nelson Mandela used this passage in his 1994 Inaugural Speech)

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Love after love

I really liked and identified with this poem, especially now and I wish to share it. It reminds me yet again that love starts on the inside first and it has become abundantly clear to me that I may have closed my heart little by little as I progressed through life. I bought into all the things I was told as a child and one of them was that I was unwanted and I somehow translated that into not lovable or loved and this became my reality and my inner dialogue became a reflection of that lie. This poem is a gift to myself and I give it now to you with an open heart and love as my motivation.....may this touch you deep inside as it does me.

The time will come

when, with elation,

you will greet yourself arriving

at your own door, in your own mirror,

and each will smile at the other's welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.

You will love again the stranger who was your self.

Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart

to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored

for another, who knows you by heart.

Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photograph, the desperate notes,

peel your own image from the mirror.

Sit. Feast on your life.

- Derek Wallcott

Monday, May 26, 2008

Believe in nothing..

Belief is the foundation for all our re-actions. (the way we act and keep acting)
It is where our feelings stem from.
In this new world of attraction, that we are all becoming more and more aware of, it seems strange that we still attract unwanted things.
Could this be that our beliefs are no longer true for us at this moment of creation, thus soliciting the incorrect feeling? And is it not this feeling that brings forth our manifestation? OR could it be that our beliefs solicit old feelings (not good uplifting...feelings) and then we manifest the things that are unwanted, in harmony with our feelings?

When I look at this statement it may mean that I am continually dancing around in a circle or that I must be present so that I can know what I am feeling and thus creating.

A lot of our belief systems were created at a very young age and we stubbornly hold unto them without really checking in. By that I mean checking into how they make us feel. This is the true guage of whether a belief system still serves us or not...

bringing me the point of...believe in nothing or even better yet be open to another belief system or a changing belief system. To create a different reality means that you must change the belief that created it in the first place.
When in doubt... Check in, how does it feel?

I am sorry if this seems garbled but sometimes we just puke on a page! Good luck figuring it out!

Sunday, May 25, 2008

positive exercises

I meet with an amazing group of women every month and we are currently reading A New Earth and one of our ladies mentioned a wonderful exercise that she is doing to help her initial perception of those she encounters in her daily life. She decided her first thought had to be something positive of every person that she sees in Target and has found this to be challenging at times. I salute her in her efforts to improve her positive energies and thus empower herself and send powerful positive energy to those around her.

I would like to go a little deeper and put the challenge out there to all of us to do this with ourselves....every time you look in the mirror, let the first thought and words that leave your mouth be something positive to the reflection you see. If you do this all the time it will be a lot easier to see the positive not only in others but in everything.

Criticism starts at home and the only way to be successful in eradicating it would be to start with self yet again....

This is my constant message to myself and those whose lives I touch...............Please look within before looking without!


"We are all flowers in the Great Spirit's garden. We share a common root, and the root is Mother Earth.

The garden is beautiful because it has different colors in it..and those colors represent different traditions and cultural backgrounds."

(Grandfather David Monongye)

We need to start looking at our world through new eyes. Believe in nothing but remain open to everything. Read the words but listen to your heart.
We live in an everchanging cosmos and therefore must remain open.
Freedom......being open to the opportunities that come our way. Ride the wave and see where it takes you.

Vaccines....causing autism???

Here is a recent article published inmedical news today......for those who still have doubts that vaccines are one of the leading causes of neurological regression leading certain kids to manifest autism.....................

"A primate model for autism using the U.S. children's immunization schedule was unveiled at the International Meeting For Autism Research (IMFAR) this weekend. The research underscores the critical need for studies into vaccine safety and the immune and mitochondrial dysfunction of autistic children. The National Autism Association (NAA) questions why the government hasn't undertaken these vital studies and why researchers have had to depend on private money to perform this critical science that will surely impact the health of millions of children worldwide.Using infant macaque monkeys, University of Pittsburgh's Dr. Laura Hewitson, Ph.D., described how vaccinated animals, when compared to unvaccinated animals, showed significant neurodevelopmental deficits and "significant associations between specific aberrant social and non-social behaviors, isotope binding, and vaccine exposure."Researchers also reported, "vaccinated animals exhibited progressively severe chronic active inflammation whereas unexposed animals did not" and found "many significant differences in the GI tissue gene expression profiles between vaccinated and unvaccinated animals." Gastrointestinal issues are a common symptom of children with regressive autism.NAA calls for the NIH to conduct large scale, non-epidemiological studies into the biomedical symptoms surrounding young children and all vaccines, including those containing the mercury-based preservative thimerosal and other additives like aluminum.This request for further research echoes that of Dr. Bernadine Healy, Former NIH Director in a CBS interview earlier this week. "I think public health officials have been too quick to dismiss the hypothesis as 'irrational,' without sufficient studies of causation...without studying the population that got sick," Healy said. "I have not seen major studies that focus on 300 kids who got autistic symptoms within a period of a few weeks of the vaccines."Recently the government's vaccine court conceded the case of Hannah Poling, admitting that vaccines triggered her regression into autism by exacerbating mitochondrial dysfunction. "The recent Poling case and this new research provide further evidence that the CDC has fallen down on their job to protect children from harm. The biomedical research to date suggests that parental reports of regression following vaccination is not only plausible, but likely in certain individuals," said Scott Bono, NAA Chairman. "To date, the CDC has conducted no safety testing on the possible harmful effects of simultaneously administering multiple vaccines to infants, and has steadfastly refused to state a preference for mercury-free vaccines to be given to children and pregnant women. It's time for HHS and Congress to step in and take vaccine safety away from the CDC."On June 4th, parents of vaccine-injured children will rally for toxin-free immunizations in Washington, DC. For more information about the "Green Our Vaccines" rally or the new primate study visit http://www.nationalautism.org."

National Autism Associationhttp://www.nationalautism.org

Thursday, May 22, 2008


This seems to be the message for me lately....gratitude.
I love it as it does bring in more things to be grateful for via the law of attraction.
I am a great believer in whatever we put out there comes back to us ten fold and why not let it be gratitude.

Unfortunately not to many emphasise the fact that it has to start with you, about you!
There are so many things that I am grateful for about myself, now that I have had time to think about it, and it only makes sense that once we acknowledge that....then we can be given more and our gifts become manifest.

How many people can honestly say that they spend time appreciating themselves, yet they expect others to appreciate them. Everything starts on the inside first and you cannot attract what you are not already vibrating at.
I know this is a hard one to swallow for some but it is true, the good and the bad....if shitty things are happening to you what energy are you vibrating at or what are your predominant thoughts and feelings that may be attracting your current situation.

The point I am trying to get across and cement in my own mind is.....be grateful for who you are and what you have achieved and all the growth and changes you have encountered in your time here. Appreciate your uniqueness (is that even a word???), honor your journey and love yourself fully! Look in the mirror everyday and thank yourself for who you are and while you are there tell yourself how much you love you!!

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Am I enough...?

There are times when I meet the most amazing, gifted people in the healing field and I am in awe of them. Unfortunately this time I am filled with feelings of inadequecy...

those same feelings of not being enough, not being good enough.

We spend so much time on self healing and letting go of the obstacles and old belief systems and those things that do not serve us yet as we look down, it's that same old stumbling block again.

I start thinking why am I in this business when there are so many people that are so much better at it than me, so much more gifted and why will I not give up?

I guess that would be the million dollar question...what keeps driving me, is it this searching of perfection for me, this thorn in my side? Should I then percieve it differently....is it a rose and not a thorn?

Maybe I should just stop thinking and go with the flow... maybe I am still to grow into a beautiful rose bush, thorns and all!!!

Sweet dreams....??

Why do you creep so silently...deep in the night,
so full of promise, so full of light

creeping deep into my heart.....

And when daylight comes you do not stay,
leaving me empty to face the day?

Monday, May 12, 2008

Naturopathic Bill

My time has been consumed with letters to Senators the last few days and somehow I did not fell like airing all my feelings but I guess I am ready to now.

There is a bill waiting on the senate floor to be voted on that can change the lives of many practitioners...mine included. It is being voted on tomorow morning at 8:30am.
I wait with fingers crossed and many a prayer sent out to the void beyond hoping for the forces to greet it with open arms and send it back to me in just the right way.

There are 20 naturopathic physicians that are wanting to be regulated or lisenced and they believe that it will improve their lives and practice. all I can say is that it is a shame that egos tend to blind us. The only people this will benefit is the medical profession and some of the schools in Minnesota. There are only accredited schools outside of Minnesota currently and should this pass then Northwestern College of Chiropractic has a good chance of being able to open a Naturopathic program....convenient!!! This explains why their lobbyist are at the state Capitol too.

I entered into this profession to assist poeple in finding their way back to their health , naturally.
I did not know that all my years of study will be looked at as nothing. This is what is happening once this bill passes....I as a classical naturopath will no longer be able to use those credentials or practise any form of Naturopathy unless I go to an accredited school for 4 years of full time studying and I would need to close my office and start back again in four years, not to mention that the schools are all out of state and do not offer anything but full time study...GREAT!!!!!
My hope is that the Senators see that there are many practitioners out there that have a Classical naturopathic education and that all their rights are being stripped. Ironic that I am hoping for acknowledgement of rights when we are fighting a war and no one is paying attention to the rights of all those innocent people. (Another topic for another time)

Glad I got that out there...the wait and tension will be over tomorow morning.

I keep sending good energy to all involved trusting that whatever will be must be....

Trust, now that's a good topic for later.......

waging the battle of being in love as an unarmed entity

What is this strangeness that crawls over me....

A sensation so intriguing.

No comfort level yet no pain!

I may have been here before but the memory eludes me.

Is this the prize at the end of the fairytale, this feeling of embracing discomfort!?

Sunday, May 11, 2008


To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine . . and those who don't.

As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. coli) - bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop. (that's over 2 pounds).

However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

Remember: Water = Poop, Wine = Health

Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit .

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm doing it as a public service .

This was an e-mail sent to me and I thought it was amusing and worth sharing.
Enjoy the weekend.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Where to begin

Well, once again I find myself in unfamiliar territory. It is a lot easier writting in your journal knowing that it will be for your eyes only, now my thoughts and ideas will be out there for the world to see.
I have been in the natural health care industry for some time now and am embarking on this whole cyberage journey, trying to share my thoughts on what is natural and what is not.

I arrived in this country 6 years ago after spending a year on horse back travelling throught the western US @ 3 miles an hour. It was a wonderful experience and I got to see some beautiful country.
There are so many gorgeous places and when you are travelling on the back of a horse you have a lot of time to think and grow. I love Colorado, Utah, Wyoming and Montana to mention but a few. Texas had it's own beauty and the people were so nice and hospitable. It amazed me that there are so many people in the USA that have never traveled out of their area or state.
I guess South Africans love to travel and so the thought of not leaving my home town is very unfamiliar to me. Even now I wish to travel and learn more about other countries and see more of the world.

I think it is natural to want to travel and see different places and I think it is fortunate if you have found exactly where you wish to be and do not desire to go anywhere else. I do feel that those who stay in a familiar place just because of fear are loosing out on a wonderful experience.
I use the cliche....feel the fear and do it anyway!!!
There is no growth in staying stuck and that is definately UNnatural!!

So, that is my take on what is natural and unnatural today.