Monday, December 21, 2009

Thinking of you

Sometimes one reads something that is so apt for the current emotion or energy.....

"have you really not noticed then, that here of all places, in this private, personal solitude that surrounds me, I have turned to you? All of the memories of my youth speak to me as I walk, just as the sea shells crunch under my feet on the beach.
The crash of every wave awakens far-distant reverberations within me. I hear the rumble of bygone days, and in my mind the whole endless series of old passions surge forward like the billows. I remember my spasms, my sorrows, gusts of desire that whistled like the wind in the rigging, and vast vague longings that swirled in the dark like a flock of wild gulls in a storm cloud.
On whom should I lean, if not you? My wary mind turns for refreshment to the thought of you as a dusty traveller might sink onto a soft grassy bank.
                                                                                         -Gustave Flaubert (1821-1880)

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

You stole my soul!

As many may know I have closed my office in Monticello and have taken a bit of a sabbatical to work on my personal journey to health and this is what I wrote due to that:

Dear mother,

You gave me a body to journey through this world and supplied little else. Your breast was denied me and with it, colostrum, taurine and nurturing! The good bacteria inoculation at birth would have been free, but you couldn't give that, instead you gave me psychological damage and many valuable lessons to education well earned!!

I even doubt the thought of feeding my brain with fish oils entered your mind, instead you fed it with doubt, fear and uncertainty.

The joys of childhood escaped as you watched and blamed not yourself but me.

................thank you for being the vessel of my birth as I now turn to my true mother, the one that nurtures, sustains my life, cares and embraces me, mother earth.