Going deeper and why?

When listening to motivational speakers including Tony Robbins, the common theme is mastering our emotions and healing childhood traumas. There is also a lot of research linking our emotions and its impact on our physiology, which impacts our overall health. Our emotions and beliefs also impact our epigenetics whichs impact how our genes express themselves. (positively or negatively)

Our emotions impacts how we navigate life. Basically how you feel about things and situations creates the beliefs you form and these beliefs also form habits. Habitual behavior, for example: You feel inadequate (sometimes this is a deeply ingrained and sometimes hidden emotion) When you are challenged during interactions about your ability at work or personally, you may become very defensive. You may be seen as aggressive, temperamental or on the other side of that emotional belief, you may never voice your opinion or truths in fear of being "found out" or focused on.

What happens to us as children creates pain/emotions within us and then we make it mean something, which creates a belief system within us and we live the rest of our lives as if this lie we have come to believe (the meaning you attached at time of emotional hurt) is true and it truly impact all aspects of our journey, until we recognize and deal with that internal and initial wound/pain/emotion. 

How do we find these underlying beliefs and their emotions? We ask many questions by checking in with our bodies. Our body never lies. The tension and pain in the body signifies blockages. If you are doing all the right things and you are still not healing, you may wish to consider the possibility of an emotional connection. 

There are many different outcomes from the traumas we experience as children and young adults and addictions (food, alcohol, drugs, exercise etc.) are usually related to that.

Gabor Maté CM (born January 6, 1944) is a Hungarian-born Canadian physician. He has a background in family practice and a special interest in childhood development and trauma, and in their potential lifelong impacts on physical and mental health, including on autoimmune disease, cancer, ADHD, addictions, and a wide range of other conditions. Now retired from clinical practice, he travels and speaks extensively on these and related topics, both in North America and abroad. His books have been published internationally in over twenty-five languages. Maté's approach to addiction focuses on the trauma his patients have suffered and looks to address this in their recovery, with special regard to indigenous populations around the world.

How childhood trauma leads to addiction

It is certainly one of my passions to work with clearing some of these traumas through Energy Medicine, so that people can experience the fullness of life and the love that resides deep within us all.

And I feel privileged to be able to serve in such a manner. I have had so much help in my life through energy medicine and healing modalities. I come from a very abusive and traumatic childhood. This has helped me cultivate a deeper understanding and compassion in life.

Judgement...why we suffer

 I am practicing the art of acceptance and surrender and releasing judgement. I find myself judging myself often..the way I look, the way I speak or some of the things I say, my body, my abilities etc. and therefore I end up placing judgment upon others, either consciously or mindlessly. It can be a knee jerk reaction and is usually associated with my own fears and insecurities. I am choosing to pay attention to these moments so that I may heal my inner wounds and pre-conceptions and create the world of love and kindness I wish to live in. It all starts with me.

I love this piece as It sums up the subject very succinctly...Enjoy!

Judging Others (Daily OM)

To acknowledge that we have judged and why, is the first step to a path of compassion. Though it is human to evaluate people we encounter based on first impressions, the conclusions we come to are seldom unaffected by our own fears and our own preconceptions. Additionally, our judgments are frequently incomplete. For example, wealth can seem like proof that an individual is spoiled, and poverty can be seen as a signifier of laziness -- neither of which may be true. At the heart of the tendency to categorize and criticize, we often find insecurity. Overcoming our need to set ourselves apart from what we fear is a matter of understanding the root of judgment and then reaffirming our commitment to tolerance.   When we catch ourselves thinking or behaving judgmentally, we should ask ourselves where these judgments come from. Traits we hope we do not possess can instigate our criticism when we see them in others because passing judgment distances us from those traits. Once we regain our center, we can reinforce our open-mindedness by putting our feelings into words. To acknowledge to ourselves that we have judged, and that we have identified the root of our judgments, is the first step to a path of compassion. Recognizing that we limit our awareness by assessing others critically can make moving past our initial impressions much easier. Judgments seldom leave room for alternate possibilities.  Mother Teresa said, "If you judge people, you don't have time to love them." If we are quick to pass judgment on others, we forget that they, like us, are human beings. As we seldom know what roads people have traveled before a shared encounter or why they have come into our lives, we should always give those we meet the gift of an open heart. Doing so allows us to replace fear-based criticism with appreciation because we can then focus wholeheartedly on the spark of good that burns in all human souls.  ~ dailyom.com

Withholding....

I just read an interesting piece on withholding and it reminded me of my patterns when I first met my husband and for most of my relationships prior to that. It makes so much sense to be now and reading this article made me realize how much I have grown and changed and how much opportunity I still have for growth.

Emotional pain is usually at the root of our tendency to withhold and the most common form of withholding is what we call "the silent treatment", but it encompasses any unwillingness to express your true feelings. It also includes an unwillingness to give support, praise, or positive attention to the people you love.

Madisyn Taylor goes on to explain it further and very succinctly...."We have all known someone who is impossible to please, and many of us have suddenly found ourselves at the other end of a chilly silence with no explanation. At the same time, many of us will recognize our own tendency to withhold our emotions rather than express them. Most of us have seen both sides of the withholding dilemma. Emotional pain is at the root of our tendency to withhold, and withholding causes pain to the people subjected to it. It is a dysfunctional pattern that creates a breakdown in communication and understanding.

No one deserves to be subjected to withholding. Feeling ignored, disrespected, or shut out, and to not know why, is a terrible feeling. The first thing to remember if this is happening to you is that you are not to blame. You are caught in someone else's pain pattern. This person does not know how to express feelings in a healthy way probably because this is what they learned when she or he was a child. The second helpful thing to remember is that the withholder is acting out of pain. They are stuck in a habitual mode of response that is self-defeating and alienating to the people they love. Remembering this will help you feel compassion for the person hurting you. However, if you have suffered too long with this pattern, you may need to get some space. Take some time to look at your own patterns and understand why you have taken part in this drama. If you are dealing with people in a family situation, you can step up to the plate to help break the chain of this behavior pattern.

If, on the other hand, it is you that tends to withhold, understand that this is a learned response and it can be unlearned. Find safe places to begin to express all that you've been holding back. Begin to make an effort to say what you're feeling and thinking. Give praise to someone you love. The more you do this, the healthier you and your relationships will become. What was learned over a course of a life cannot be changed overnight--remember, one day at a time."

I know it is possible to change and be vulnerable and it all starts by opening your heart more and more ever day. The biggest and safest place to start practicing opening your heart further, and being vulnerable in expressing your inner feelings, thoughts and fears, is in a loving relationship. Our greatest opportunity for growth is in our relationships. Remember they mirror who we are and areas we need to address. Go ahead and start expressing yourself today. You and your health will benefit in ways you cannot even begin to imagine.