Are you returning the favor?

 This was interesting for me to ponder recently. I was experiencing some emotional upheaval and dis-regulation. We sometimes go through these clearing phases where everything feels overwhelming and I could have cried at the drop of a hat.

I am always there for any friends or family that need a shoulder to cry on or needs to vent or just have someone to listen without judgement or need to fix anything. (women will understand this) and it occurred to me that I am not as readily open to allowing those friends to return the favor. I tend to seclude myself when I am going through some emotional struggles and I do not always reach out for that shoulder or loving ear.

That is why I ask, are you open to returning the favor.

Our friends and family wish to be there for us too. They will lovingly listen and offer kind words and friends will be ready with some hard hitting wisdom.

It made me think about what this resistance to open up says about me...why do I behave this way?

Could it be that I have some underlying beliefs around self worth? Do I not feel deserving? Is it fear of being vulnerable or do I not believe that anyone has earned the right to hear my deepest darkest fears, thoughts and challenges?

And if I think the last statement is true then why have I not cultivated such a tribe?

I am grateful for the friends that I can turn to (you know who you are) and for their wisdom and for never being afraid to tell me the truth even when it is uncomfortable to hear and to offer a change in perspective whenever I need it.

Thinking about all of this and looking deeper within has also helped me get out of my funk and given me new motivation to create the life and community I desire and to create more health, happiness and joy, not just for myself, for all whom I associate and commune with. It has also made me look at how i treat myself and ask the question, am I a friend to myself? am I gentle and nurturing to myself?

Am I returning the favor....I may not have been as open to doing so in the past and with greater awareness of this, I am choosing to be open to returning the favor when needed. I am open to receive.